Britain the Chicken
by Animerulzs1267
Summary: "Dude, chill! What's wrong?" Alfred asked. He got excited and started speaking in an impossible speed. Then he had his answer what was going on... "BRITAIN HAS BECOME CHICKEN!" Kiku screamed angrily and cried like a woman in labor. How is Britain going to change back, now that he's a chicken? USUK.


Alfred breathed a sigh on the couch while lazing around pointlessly through the day. He felt especially bored today. It was an uneventful day as usual in Alfred's house, nothing exciting for our hero today and sadly it meant no chances of something extraordinary to happen. That was when he heard his phone ringing and it was a call from his good friend, Kiku, sounded incredibly stressed as Alfred went to his kitchen to get a drink.

Kiku panted, "A-Alfred-kun!" He sounded as though something terrible happened.

"Dude, chill! What's wrong?" Alfred asked. He got excited and started speaking in an impossible speed. "Is it a robber? Is it a villain? Is it Satan taking Justin Bieber away for good so I don't have to worry about him anymore?" Alfred hoped that last one was true. Who wouldn't?

"No, no, no!" cried the poor man on the other side. "None of that hero stuff, Alfred-kun! It's Arthur-kun-!"

"_Him_? You serious? I'm hanging up, dude-"

"BRITAIN HAS BECOME CHICKEN!" Kiku screamed angrily and cried like a woman in labor.

There was an uneasy silence between them. Only the sound of Kiku's stuttering mumbles and Alfred's broken train of thought being crashed like a train crash until Alfred spoke uncomfortably to Kiku.

"Uh…. D-dude, you real? I think April Fools is, like, way past…" He was joking lightheartedly and prayed it was a joke.

It wasn't.

"No, truly, he became chicken! I came to his house and saw him!" Kiku cried, speaking the truth. "I am coming to your house and we must settle this properly! Please, Arthur, stop speaking Chickese! I do not know what you are saying-!"

_Click! _

Coming to his house? Chickese? What in hell's name did Arthur do? No more than ten minutes Alfred heard the doorbell of his house ringing persistently, he hurried condemningly to the door and, with few hesitations, took the golden knob of his door and opened it to show Kiku—panting vigorously, messy black hair tangled in white feathers and on the ground, by his feet, was an animal jousting energetically while screaming.

"Uh..." Alfred could only stare in oblivion whilst Kiku rubbed the back of his hand on his forehead due to sweat.

"Alfred-kun...please..." Kiku backed from the small cage away, his eyes fixated on Alfred only. His eyes were as if he seen hell for the first time and refused to recount the traumatizing experience he had. "Just take him. I do not want him..."

Alfred took out a hand and tried to stop Kiku, "Wait, you can't just freaking leave him with-!" Be that as it may, Kiku turned and dashed expeditiously out the front yard and was gone.

_Great, does that mean I have to watch Arthur? _Alfred thought looking down to the cage and saw it stopped from its angered state. All that was heard inside was cooing and chirping noises. Treading his hand in the air slowly to pick up the handle, he took it guardedly up and peered inside to see a white chicken.

The white chicken, claimed as Arthur, had nice white feathers and its beak was tiny. Alfred remembered seeing Kiku's arms with red marks. Did that meant he was viciously pecked? He didn't know, but Alfred questioned how dangerous Britain the Chicken was…

"H-hey…" Alfred whispered to the sleeping chicken. Britain the Chicken cooed for a moment but woke up at the sound of his voice, lime-green eyes stared boredly at him. "Are you Arthur?"

"Baka!" he screeched inside the cage.

"What, baka?"

"Baka, baka!" Arthur repeated angrily. His eyes were sparking in fury.

"Are you trying to talk to me? Do I have to decipher your Chickese, because if I do, how the hell am I supposed to do that?" Alfred got back into his house, kicked the door behind him and stepped into the kitchen.

"Seriously, what if that's you in there…" Alfred looked around the kitchen, went over to his cabinet where he took out a bag of flour, a bowl and a wooden spoon. He placed them on his counter next to Britain the Chicken, unlocked his door and pointed at the items he chose. "You'd probably burn this… Don't ask why, it's just that whenever you cook something, it usually burns. _Then_ I'll know if you're really Arthur."

Arthur—cough, Britain the Chicken cough—poked his head out and got out, seeing the items and right away took his right winged arm to grab the wooden spoon.

_BURN! _

"BAKAAAAA!" Arthur cried in horror, dropping the now burnt wooden spoon.

Alfred was officially convinced. "Yeah, it's you. Okay…how the hell are we going to get you back to normal?" Aside that fact the wooden spoon was burning on the kitchen counter, nothing mattered other than getting Arthur back to normal—was that even possible?

"Baka, baka, baka!" chanted Arthur, his wings flapping up and down unpleasantly.

"Dude, how am I supposed to bring you back into your human form?" Alfred asked, feeling a little discouraged. "This was pretty much your fault, not mine, and you need to help me instead of saying 'baka' all the damn time!"

Neither spoke.

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?"

Arthur pouted, refusing to speak. It later made sense since Arthur could speak 'baka' only and Alfred sighed with arms folded, dismayed of the situation.

"Okay…how about telling me how you became a chicken? No pun intended." _Yeah, _Alfred thought sarcastically_, _so _not intended. _

He saw Arthur pondering with his right hand—or, wing—touching his beak and moved back and forth around the counter. Arthur was acting like a detective trying to solve a complicated case, but seemed somewhat puzzled of the task.

"Do you have any friends I can call? Maybe they can help, or…"

That was when Arthur jumped up and screamed, "BAKA!" Then dashed out of nowhere, leaving Alfred confused. Alfred ventured behind and in his hallway where the table holding his house phone was on, Arthur was literally pressing numbers with his beak to call someone.

At first, Alfred seemed baffled, but then he thought that Arthur was calling someone to reverse the spell or enchantment! _Oh thank god_, he thought, relieved, _now I don't have to worry about Britain the Chicken! Kiku should be glad to know that, too. _

Once Arthur finished, he pushed the phone handle off its box and a voice spoke. "Hello, who is this?" Alfred remembered that tone, it was Lukas!

Right away Alfred took the phone and talked, "Oh, Lukas, thank god! Listen, you gotta help me: Britain became a chicken!"

There was silence on the other side.

"Please, if you're still in there, you gotta help and tell me how to get him back to normal! I seriously don't want Arthur being a chicken anymore—"

"Why?"

"Because I'm scared I'll have to babysit him, and I won't get to kiss him like I use to or—" Alfred blushed profoundly, realizing Arthur was on the table—listening. "Uh… I mean, it's weird having a chicken who is basically your boyfriend, so…"

"One moment, please," Lukas said on the phone. There was a silent moment until Lukas said, "All right, I have an idea to your problem. All you have to do is kiss Arthur and he should come back to normal after the kiss."

"Wait," said Alfred, confused, "like 'The Princess and the Frog'? Is this whole thing based on some kid story?"

"If you wish to know," Lukas spoke seriously, "the story was based off a true story. Although the frog _did_ have an unfortunate ending, it was something told to children to not judge appearances. So just kiss Arthur and you'll be fine." Lukas hung up right away before Alfred could ask anything else.

Alfred looked at Arthur who stared into his blue eyes, waiting for him to say something.

"Well…I guess I have to kiss you if you wanna get back into your usual, annoying British self…" Alfred gulped, worried.

He took his hands slowly over to Arthur, grasped his body gently and as Arthur cooed quietly; Alfred brought him close to his face. Despite Arthur knowing this could be the solution to bring him back, he began gawking in shock and flustered like crazy. Alfred however held onto him and puckered his lips to kiss him, but it was difficult as Arthur attempted to poke his face off.

"Do you want to get back to normal, or not?" Alfred asked, and from that Arthur ceased his flustered state but pestered in his thoughts.

Alfred moved his lips to Arthur's yellow beak and once his lips touched them, he felt a sparking sensation suddenly and blinked up to see Arthur backing his beak out and flopped down to the floor.

_POOF! _

Green smoke flashed the living room and, on the ground lying on his butt, was Arthur in his human form. As Arthur coughed and tried to get up, Alfred helped him up by taking his hand to him and pulled him up on his feet.

Alfred asked, "How did this happen?"

"I have absolutely no idea!" gasped Arthur, bewildered. "I was just making some scones and I thought I could make some faster with my wand—then I had a phone call and while I was talking, I let my magic pick the ingredients. I guess after eating my scones, I transformed into a chicken! Thankfully Kiku was visiting over my house or else I would've been a chicken forever."

He laughed nervously, "Yeah…that would've been bad. So…" They both stared into each other's eyes, not knowing what to say. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Um, yes, I think so…" Arthur answered uneasily. "Thank you for the…"

"Can we do it again?" Alfred asked suddenly.

This took Arthur obviously by surprise—and right away his answer was hitting him on the head with his fist and shouted 'idiot' and stormed off. Alfred, in pain, laughed a hardy laugh when he heard the door far away slammed and couldn't believe he said that!

XxXxXxX

_Stupid idiot! _Cursed Arthur, storming down the sidewalk in fury. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, baka-!_

Arthur paused midway of his fury walk…did he…? No, he couldn't have. Right?


End file.
